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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?